I agree this masseuse (which seems a more appropriate word given the circumstances than “massage therapist”) caught you with your pants down. What should I do?įirst of all, I hope it’s not over so quickly when you’re attending to your wife. I feel that it might be gone if I keep this event from her, but I’m also not sure I should tell her. I pride myself on being honest and treasure the intimacy and emotional trust my wife and I have. I have resolved to only get fully clothed massages from now on, if any. After that she finished the massage, and I paid and left a tip. I never solicited, intended, or suggested this happen! I could have stopped it, but it all happened so fast and was over in about 20 seconds. She told me to turn over, massaged my stomach, then started to pleasure me-well, you can imagine how. The first hour was completely normal, and when she asked me if I wanted a longer massage I told her to go another 30 minutes. The sign in the room said “Keep undergarments on.” But the masseuse came in and asked me to take my shirt off since she used oil during the massage. They had ads for couples’ massage and a row of chairs for foot reflexology. I’m a sucker for cheap, Asian massage and this place seemed legit. Last week I went for a massage, and now I have a dilemma. I have been happily married for several years and have never cheated on my wife. For a window into how strange things like this can get if they go too far, read Jeffrey Eugenides’ wonderful novel Middlesex. A good therapist should be able to hear you out, understand your situation, and help guide you out of it. Go back to the counseling office, say your first therapist was not a good fit, and you’d like to talk to someone else about a pressing emotional issue. Your therapist should have had the training not to be so shocked by your revelation that she ended up barking orders. I think even those two men would advise you two to stop the rubbing and get yourselves disentangled emotionally. I know I more or less gave a pass recently to a pair of middle-aged incestuous gay twins, but they had long ago made a physical and emotional commitment to each other, and were asking me about whether they should let their family know. But if one or the other feels this is something a future romantic partner should know, don’t be surprised if upon hearing your confession your new love quickly backs away. If you do have an affair, or something pretty close, and you vow to forever keep this secret, you each will spend decades hoping your sibling stays silent. You profess you two want normal lives, but if you violate this taboo you may never get there. If one day Jack’s resolve breaks, you, Jill, are likely to come tumbling after. You say you don’t want to cross the ultimate line, but you continue to slow dance to the edge of it. Since you’re both in your 20s, the trend appears to be going the opposite way of outgrowing your closeness. Must we stop this immediately, or may we let it continue and hope we grow out of it?
We both know intellectually that we shouldn’t be doing this, but we don’t feel the wrongness of it.
We want to lead normal lives and have families. I needed to talk to someone about this so I went to a counselor at the student health service and in the first session she practically ordered me not to see him for three months. I go on dates with other men, but I never feel the emotional connection that I feel with my brother.
We have not had sex because there’s a psychological barrier that neither of us wants to cross. When I’m with him I feel loved and cared for. Now we lie on the bed, clothed, and kiss and talk and hold each other.
About three months ago we were sitting on my couch watching a sad movie and when it was over we turned to each other, exchanged a look, and started kissing. I’m now a senior and he’s a graduate student. After he went away to college, I chose a college in the same city as his, so we continued to see a lot of each other. He’s two years older and looked out for me in high school, and I shared with him what girls are like, which made him more confident socially. Our parents are admirable people who took good care of us, but are distant and aloof, and I think that my brother and I turned to each other for warmth and emotional support. My brother and I are having a physical relationship. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion. Got a burning question for Prudie? She’ll be online at to chat with readers each Monday at noon. Please send your questions for publication to.
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